iRemember

[08:47 North avenue station]

It was like a surprise gift-wrapped present from God.

The passengers were filling-in every bit of space in the cramped MRT ticket booths. And I imagined the oxygen depleting over the heads of the perspiring passengers that I suddenly had the urge to take one deep breath as if plunging into a deep pool. It was a cold morning but I totally forgot about it as I tried  to rummage for the softest whisper of the wind to blow dry my sweat-soaked face, but none came. The MRT staff and the guards declared that there weren't enough trains in operation and we needed  to wait for the next train to arrive. Only too suddenly, the guy beside me raised his arms as if trying to free himself from the clutches of an invisible giant and I found my face a few millimeters away from his armpit. This is indeed the worst way to start a day.

I overslept. I also got out of the chapel near our condo later than scheduled (I go there every morning to greet my most beloved friend before going to work) and the delay  at the  was  making me imagine the memo waiting for me at the office, seating at my desk, waving its pale-yellow corners at me in-sync with the cold wind blowing from the air conditioning unit above. Great! I looked at my watch. By this time, I should be at the other end of EDSA. I maneuvered my bulky self away from the armpit that was mocking me until finally, a train came and the guards started checking every bag with their sticks, touching the passengers' "love-handles" (I don't know who coined the term or why they called it love-handles but these are the soft flabby parts at your back just above your waist) as people marched into the MRT platform. I felt a little squeeze in my love-handles when my turn to be inspected came and as soon as I got into the platform, I ran to the nearest MRT door but there's just too many passengers.

I looked, here and there, trying to look busy; resisting the urge to look at my watch too frequently. I took some pictures to publish with this blog and as I was looking at my cellphone's screen, I saw her.

She looked familiar but as I looked closely, she seemed too mature and too pretty (even model-like) compared to the person I knew. She's a completely different version so to speak. I stared at her and I had this strangest feeling that I needed  to catch her glance, just to check if she knew me. I looked intently and as if sensing a threat, she looked at me sharply. Our glances met. She smiled and I awkwardly moved my hands into a tentative wave. I saw the glare in her eyes and she shouted as if we're the only person in that platform, "FHADZ!!!!"

She came to me running and I greeted her with a tight, sincere and heart-fattening hug. It happened so fast. She felt like a complete stranger in my arms and as on-lookers passed by looking at us with much envy (she's a real looker, mind you), all the memories came flooding in.

She's Joyce Yu, one of the prettiest students in our college batch at the University of Santo Tomas. The last time I saw her was on our graduation day at the PICC plenary hall (exactly where the PICC Feast is held ever Sunday) three years ago. Three years, I told myself. 2008. Not too long ago but it felt like a hundred years have passed. As soon as our excitement withdrew, the next train came and we decided to ride together.

I didn't know where to begin. I wanted to ask her so many things and I didn't know what question should come first.

She started telling me about her life after college: where she worked, how she broke-up with her former boyfriend, how well our other classmates were doing, and finally, she answered the question that was bothering me--she's now a proud mother! She excitedly showed me the pictures of her lovely nine month old daughter who looked exactly like her and in my mind I, blurted out "Grabe! Maraming papaiyaking lalaki tong batang to paglaki!." I smiled at the thought.

She then asked me "Kamusta na kayo ni Marianne? (my ex-girlfriend)"

I smiled and said, "Ayun, masaya na siya with her boyfriend. Pero feeling ko mas masaya ako ngayon with Krizia my girlfriend. As in super!"

I really am happy and I wanted to uplift her but she looked gloomy, even sorry that she brought the topic.

"Ay sorry, hindi ko alam," she looked at me sadly and I tried to remember what happened to that dark part of my life.

I shared five years of my life with Marianne. Five long years filled with excitement and uncertainty, fun and emptiness, love and faithlessness (Yes, I did forget that God existed during that time. I even proclaimed He doesn't exist. It was like everyday, I got to choose my own religion, like a food from a menu. Sad, dark college days). She used to be everything: my world, my universe and every bit of me longed to be with her. But things change (thank God things changed for the better). She found someone she thought would really make her happy, I was left alone with a broken heart. She moved unto her boyfriend's apartment, I moved on with my life. She's been through thick and thin with her boyfriend, I met the best friend I wished I had, the girlfriend that I could ever love and the lady that I want to spend my whole life with. I am happy. God wanted me to be happy and I was thanking God. The pain I endured during the break-up (I was about to propose to my ex-girlfriend a few months before the break-up) was unthinkable; unimaginable even. But as I looked back, my heart leaped with joy and shouted great praises. As what Bro. Bo Sanchez said "Your greatest problems will always be your greatest blessing." Thank God Marianne left me in shambles!

Joyce and I talked about our lives; all three years we missed. I used to share a lot of petty, mushy and corny stuff back when we were wearing our fading school uniforms but after three years, those sharing seemed nonsensical to the gravity of things that took hold of us after college. This is the real deal, the real life. And what seemed constant in everything we shared was that things change. I thank God for granting me the wisdom to understand that whatever situation I'm in, whether in pain or in rejoicing, God wanted something better for me that He planned every change in my life. As I claim that thought, it gave me the impression that everything changes for the better, to those who love God.

It took us almost an hour and a half before we reached Joyce's stop, 45 minutes later than the usual travel time. But I felt so blessed I wished it went longer. When it's her time to go out, we exchanged phone numbers, wished great things, and hugged like we'll never let go. Seriously, seeing her made my whole day extra special. I forgot about the memo, I forgot about being late, I even forgot the armpit that I nearly kissed. We let go and promised to have a reunion soon and I felt excited. We finally hugged once more and I thanked God for friends and then, something took hold of me. She went out the train and almost instantly, I felt the presence of other commuters (I really thought we're the only couple in the train) but I was too busy clearing my thought to what I think was a revelation.

We all know that the only constant thing in this world is change. Yes, all things change here on earth but there are yet things un-worldly that even time cannot mold and that is love. Time may change your looks, improve it for some just what happened to Joyce; time may open your eyes to God's love and to happiness just what happened to me; time and distance could even separate two lives but it could not separate love. Love is immortal; it knows no boundaries.

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love". (1JOHN 4:8)

Joyce is no stranger to me for we have shared love.

Change may be constant in our lives but love will always be constant in our soul.

Joyce will always be a great friend for we shared love, we shared God.

May God's love make your relationships stronger,

Rex Van Carlo E. Mollo
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam

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